Last Longer During Intercourse

Saturday, February 14th, 2009 at 1:44 pm

A lot of men express a desire to last longer during intercourse – as much as 71%, and there are reports of even higher percentages than that. I think men and women can agree that for most men, it either is or has been a problem at some point in their experience. The good news is, you can last longer at intercourse, if you’re willing to put in a little effort.

There are a variety of factors that contribute to PE, and there are solutions that can help you achieve longer lasting intercourse without drugs or annoying cremes. It generally involves a little bit of “training” for your body and mind, in order to modify conditioned responses to sexual arousal.

To begin with, start thinking about intercourse in terms that go beyond the act of coitus itself. Things like whole body sensuality, caressing, massaging, kissing, talking. Be imaginative and try out things that you and your partner find interesting or exciting. Adding these other dynamics to intercourse can go a long way towards lasting longer, by taking some of the pressure off of the ejaculatory response, and putting more attention on the whole experience.

Another useful strategy is to make it a goal to please her first. This change in priority (if it isn’t already a priority for you) helps you to focus on something other than your orgasm, and it gives you a “goal” to focus on, instead of that of inevitable ejaculation. Once you’ve achieved your goal, the pressure to perform (often contributing to PE) is lifted, so why not plan ahead?

There are a couple of techniques that can be used to train your body to prolong ejaculation, and they will take some time, practice, and patience to master. One is called the “squeeze” technique. In essence, once you get close to the “point of no return”, stop and squeeze the head of the penis (or ask your partner to oblige.) Wait until the impulse to ejaculate subsides, and then continue once you feel safely distant from the point of no return.

The other technique is called “start-and-stop” and is identical to the above, but without the squeeze. Both allow you to intervene and gradually delay orgasm, and help to extend your intercourse over longer periods. At first, you may mis-judge your point of no return. That’s okay, because with practice, you will improve.

Speaking of practice, the above 2 techniques are ideal for using during masturbation, specifically for the purpose of conditioning yourself to last longer during intercourse (not just to pleasure yourself, obviously…) You can get practice by yourself, or try out mutual masturbation with your partner. This is a great way to explore new avenues for making love, as mentioned above, while ultimately helping you to last longer during actual intercourse. Just ask your partner to back off or squeeze when you give the signal, and see how long you can go. Make your goal to last 15 minutes, and once that is easy, work up from there. Obviously, once you’ve learned to delay ejaculation while masturbating (which is less pressure) you’ll last longer during intercourse as well.

The muscle responsible for ejaculation (and premature ejaculation) is the same one that controls the flow of urine. It’s called the pubococcygeus muscle, or PC muscle for short. To gain more strength, and therefore greater control of this muscle, start doing kegel exercises each day a few times a day. In essence, this simply means stopping and starting the flow of urine, or simply contracting and expanding those muscles whenever you have a spare moment.

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